Jack's Fun Day in the Cave
by bionicleguy
Summary: Jack gets lost in the cave in the FoMT game, weird randomness, ch. 7 up, PG to be safe
1. Jack and the Cave

**Author (who is me because I am the author)** = hello and welcome to the most horrific, scariest...

**Little voice inside author**= you...you lied to me(sob) you said(sob) this was going(sob) to be humorous(sob), but...I just can't believe you(sob)you actually lied(sob) to your little voice inside you(sob).

**Author**=I...I...I'm sorry(breaks down and cries)it is going to be humorous(or not because I'm not that funny) but anyways....Hello and welcome to the most COMPLETELY AND UTTER RANDOMNESS(people chant "hooray for complete and utter randomness"), most humorous(or not), and the most .....I can't think of another word to put here. This story is about FoMT where Jack goes into the cave and winds up....I can't tell you it would ruin the plot. (some guy from out of nowhere pops up)

**Some guy from out of nowhere that popped up**=there is no plot to this story, because I read into the future with my handy-dandy thing that reads stories before they are written.

**Author**=how is that possible? You'd have to read my mind first and people don't read my mind because well..... I don't very much have one.**"...." **And go away I didn't want you (takes him puts him in a bottle and buries him then he sprouts and he became known as some guy in a bottle that sprouted.) As I was saying before this is my first fanfic so criticism, remarks, and good things are what I need. If this story has already been made before please tell me.  
  
**Chapter 1-Jack and the cave**  
  
One summer day Jack stepped outside and heard his dog talk to him.

**Jack**=YAY DOGGIE CAN TALK

**Doggie**=barkbarkwoofwoof (no I can't it's just your imagination)

**Jack**=NOOOO my imagination will never take over me NEVER muahahahahahahah. (But his imagination does take over and everything he sees is a funny color)Whoa a green piece of corn, Whoa a blue doggie, WHOA IT'S A RED TOMATO.

**Author**= (comes out to his farm and hits him on the head with his fishing rod) TOMATOES WERE ALWAYS RED YOU IDIOT.

**Jack**=no their not, their supposed to be brown, that's how mine are.

**Author**=I'm not buying food from you ever. (I leave by kicking up dust and running away, but then I trip ten feet in front of him)

**Jack**=where'd he go?

**Doggie**=bark (you idiot, your blind aren't you?)

**Author**= (mole people come and take me away)

**Jack**=YAY, groundhogs, YAY (gets hit on the head from a random mole person)

**Random Mole Person**=I'M NOT A GROUNDHOG!!!

**Doggie**=woof woof (why am I with him)

So jack then decided he wanted to go to the mine, so he goes down by the lake and tries to go out there.

**Jack**=(runs into invisible wall that blocks him from going out there)OUCH that hurt(he tries it again 6 more times)OUCH, why can't I go out there why?

**Author**=because its summer and the lake ain't frozen plus that's not what happens in this story.

**Doggie**=bark woof (how did you get away from the mole people?)

**Author**=I used my awesome most awesomest author powers that everyone else had but not me, but now I do YAY!!!!

**Doggie**=barkbarkwoof (like what?)

**Author**=like having a shovel appear and digging my way out of the earth's core. (Kicks up dust again and runs but doesn't trip)

**Jack**=(finally figures out he can go out there after about 5 more tries, then he goes to the other cave) YAY rocks their yummy you know(tries to eat it but breaks all his teeth except one)ouch(author enters again)

**Author**=you really are an idiot because you can't eat rocks unless you're a goron (jack rolls up into a ball and goes to sleep**"**you need to play Zelda games to know what gorons are**"**then jack just starts rolling away) I think we should end the story here. Please review and if you want to join the story please tell me. I'll try to put more people in. so please read the next chapter when it is made (if it is made)


	2. New people

**Author**=Hello and welcome back to the most scariest...

**Little voice inside author**=will you shut up already the people know it's not scary but funny **Author**=fine then...Hello and welcome back to Jacks fun day in the cave, YAY. Before that though I'd like to say THANK YOU to all my reviewers, YAY again.  
  
**Chapter 2 New people**  
  
Disclaimer (sorry I didn't put it in the last ch. don't send me a paper with a court date on it): I do not own harvest moon characters or the other people in the story (except for me)  
  
**Big voice from out of nowhere** (not the little voice inside my head) =as we left off Jack was rolling away like a goron.

**Doggie**=barkbark (how many floors have gone down?)

**Author**= (panting because of running) I....don't...know...25...I...think.

**Doggie**=bark (it feels like a hundred) (A LOUD CRASH and dust is everywhere)

**Author**=What was that?!?!

**Doggie**=barkwoof (that was the sound of you typing words for this)

**Author**=NOT THAT the loud crashing sound

**Doggie**=woofwoof (a loud crashing sound)

**Author**=oh ok

They go and inspect what happened and when they got there, there was.....DUST. **Author**=what's this?

**Doggie**=bark (you should know you just typed it) (mumbles=why is he turning into Jack?)

The dust clears and there stands two people one of them short, I mean rolled up in a ball sleeping.

**Author**=well that's got to be Jack unless someone else is a goron around here. (They start looking closely enough to see that the person standing is running around in circles being hyper, when they get 6 yards away someone yells)

**The hyper person that yelled at them**= Who's there?

**Author**=It is I Author, King of this story...

**Little voice inside authors head**=YOU ARE NOT KING, JUST THE AUTHOR.

**Author**=who are you person who yelled at us?

**THPTYAT**=CHERRY BLOSSOM

**Author**=oh, why are you here?

**Cherry Blossom**= I was running up and down the walls in a small room till he crashed through. (Points at Jack) (They are standing right in front of Jack now)

**Author**=sorry about that he was acting like a goron (takes his finger and twirls it in circles next to his head like the crazy sign) cuckoo, cuckoo

**Cherry Blossom**=WHAT, I CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU.

**Author**=I SAID, SORRY ABOUT THAT HE WAS ACTING LIKE A GORON. ARE YOU DEAF?

**Cherry Blossom**= no, I just can only hear 6 yards away. Otherwise I can hardly hear. **Author**=OH OK, I THINK WE NEED TO FIND A WAY OUT.

**CB** (I got tired of writing it) =but first we have to know who is six yards away from us because I can hear them.

**The person 6 yards away**= (walks around like she is blind) hello who's there?

**Author**= it is I Author, King of this story.

**LVIAH** (I got tired of writing that to) =I TOLD YOU BEFORE, YOU ARE NOT KING!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Author**=will you shut up you little voice

**The person 6 yards away**= (is now way to the left of them) hello, I can't see well.

**All 3 of them(doggie, author, and cherry blossom)**=we can see that.

**Jack**= (who is now awake) we can see that. (5 seconds after they all said that)

**All of them**=-**..**-

**The person 6 yards away**= (finally found them after following their voices) Hi I'm Chrae Neko. I can't see very well as you guys know.

**All (except cherry blossom)** = Hi, barkbarkwoofwoof (Hi)

**Cherry Blossom**=WHAT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU VERY WELL.

**Chrae Neko**=I SAID HI!!!

**CB**=oh...hi!!

**Author**= (leaves by kicking up dust {like always} and trips over a rock)  
  
**Mole People**= (takes the author again)

**Jack**=YAY, another groundhog, YAY (imagination takes over again) WHOA it's a big, juicy steak (gets a hungry look on his face and pulls out a fork and a knife)

**Same random mole person as in last ch.** = (throws a bigger rock at him) Stop calling me a groundhog. (Leaves taking me with them)

**Jack**= (the rock gets rid of imagination......for now MHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

**Author**= (yells out before he goes underground) watch out his imagination takes over him sometimes.

**Everyone else**=O.O, ummmm, (talking among themselves) I didn't see anything did you?? Nope I saw nothing, how 'bout you? Nope.

**Author **(yelling really, really, REALLY LOUD) = I think that's the end of this chapter, hoped you guys or girls like it. Please, please review. I have room for a couple more people to join so hurry up and tell me. oh and if you read this ch. before i did changes to it i would just like to say i hate quickedit.


	3. More new people and a way out?

**Author**=Hi and welcome back to a funny, hil...  
**Little voice inside authors head**=Hey, the people know its not scar...oh I'm  
sorry continue on.  
**Author**= (eyes roll into back of head and glares menacingly at LVIAH) (eyes  
roll back out) as I was saying...Hi and thank you all for reviewing. I am  
very sorry to say this...  
**LVIAH**= where are we?  
**Author**= we're in a tunnel I was digging to get away from the mole people.  
**LVIAH**=what are you using to dig, because I can still hear the mole people.  
**Author**=a very good tool to use to dig, it's a.........SPORK. The multi use tool  
of the century.  
**LVIAH**=???-,-????  
**Author**=-, anyways I'm sorry to say this but I can't put anymore people in  
the story because I could probably not get any chapters done with a lot of  
people to put in them.  
ON WITH THE STORY  
Disclaimer= (sarcastically) I don't own anybody but me and my little voice.  
  
**Chapter 3 More new people and a way out???**

**Big narrating voice**=as we left off the author was taken away by the mole  
people and everyone else was trying to find a way out.  
**CN (chrae neko)** =where are we going?  
**CB (cherry blossom)** =WHAT?  
**CN**=WHERE ARE WE GOING?  
**CB**=out of this cave  
**CN**=WHERE IS THAT?  
**CB**=I don't know.  
**CN**=THEN WHERE ARE WE GOING?  
**CB**=by the looks of it nowhere.  
**Someone far, far, far, far, far, far, far away**=HELLO IS ANYONE THERE,  
HELLO?  
**CN**=HELLO WE ARE HERE.  
**SFFFFFFFA**=WHERE IS HERE?  
**CN**=FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR AWAY  
**SFFFFFFFA**=THAT'S HELPFUL (runs towards here)  
**SFFFFFFFA**=Hi I'm Fairy Friend who are you?  
**CN**=I'm Chrae Neko  
**CB**=WHAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU?  
**FF (fairy friend)** =HI I'M FAIRY FRIEND WHO ARE YOU?  
**CB**=I'm Cherry Blossom.  
**Jack**= (hasn't even paid attention to what's going on, he is just staring at  
the rock that the mole person hit him with) to himself=how did this rock  
just fly into the air and hit me.  
**CN**= (takes the rock and hits him on the head with it) PAY ATTENTION  
**Jack**=oh, I'm Jack who are you?  
**FF**=-,- I'm fairy friend  
**Jack**=so what are you doing here?  
**FF**=I sent in a review and the author put me in.  
**Jack**=oh, do you know the way out?  
**FF**=no  
**Another person who sent in a review**=(slowly says)Hie  
**All**=WHOA, when did you get here?  
**CB**=WHAT?  
**APWSIAR**=I'm Hoshi and I just gotten here.  
**All**=Hi I'm...(I don't feel like writing the names)  
**CB**=WHAT?  
**H(hoshi)**=I'M HOSHI  
**CB**=I'm CB  
**H**=-,-  
**The Final person I'm putting in this story(sorry people)**=boo  
**All**=AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**TFPIPITS**=hehehehehe  
**All**= who is that, I don't know I can't see anything, WHAT???  
**TFPIPITS**=hehehehehe, I'm over here.  
**All**=(look at here) I still can't see, can you?; nope  
**TFPIPITS**=(shines light on self) now can you see me?  
**All**=AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A DEMONESS  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(pant,pant, breathe, pant, pant)HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (ten min. later) HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**TFPIPITS**=Shut UP, what were we talking about again  
**All**= who you are  
**TFPIPITS**=I'm Kijo-San, the demoness  
**All**=AHHHHHHH  
**KS(kijo-san, not Kansas)=**shut up  
**Jack**=(oblivious again to what's going on)I wonder where we are  
**CN**=(hits him on the head again with the same rock)-,-  
**Jack**=ow, X,X (sees KS) hi, I'm jack  
**CB**=(still yelling)WHAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU??!!??!!  
**KS**=(very quietly)hehehehehe, I'm kijo-san  
**CB**=HELLO, ARE YOU SPEAKING??  
**KS**=(laughs hysterically)  
**Jack**=do you know the way out?  
**KS**=no  
**Jack**=H, do you know the way out?  
**H**=no  
**Jack**=(starts crying)does anybody know the way out?  
(A hole opens up out of the ground and out pops the author)  
**Author**=I'm free, I'm free and I know the way out but I'm not telling.  
**LVIAH**=why didn't you use your powers before?  
**Author**=I did, how do you think I got the spork  
**All**=Hi author  
**Author**=so the reviewers are finally here YAY YAY YAY YAY  
**KS**=I'm hungry  
**Everyone else**= me too  
**Jack**=I have a bunch of fish in my back pack I caught a year ago  
**Everyone else**=I'll pass(jack takes out fish and eat them)ugh(everyone gets  
sick)  
**Doggie**=bark(yes I get to talk)bark(why aren't we finding a way out)  
**Author**= we are sick. I'm going to end this story now because I am running  
out of ideas for this chapter and because you don't want to see us  
puking(puking sounds are heard in the background) so please review and I'm  
sorry again that I'm not putting anymore people in.


	4. just another boring chapter

**Author**= hello and welcome back to my story. I haven't done anything in a  
while because I've been in Kansas(and if you didn't get what that KS thing  
was last ch. KS is the abbreviation for Kansas{if you really didn't get you  
need to take 1st grade again}) I would like to thank you for your reviews  
people. I do take mild criticism and small flames but please no big ones  
because its already hot in Arizona. I'll say it again like I said last ch.  
No more people I don't want all these people running around my story( all  
the people run around the story)HELP HELP I'm drowning in a sea of people  
HELP.Ok I can swim now.  
**LVIAH**= aren't you ever going to get on with the story?  
**Author**=maybe later, anyway I will put in Nick Dickerson because if I didn't  
that would be mean(EVIL EVIL evil grin spreads across face) you know I  
think I will just leave him out MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oops did I say that  
aloud I mean you will be in the story ( no one will really know if he will  
be in the story or not except me)  
**The guy that had the mindreader thingie in the first chapter**= I know I know  
[ I take mind reader thingie and destroy it]  
**Author**= now you don't, anyway...  
**LVIAH**=GET ON WITH THE STORY  
**Author**=fine but I got to name you because CB told me to. How about little  
annoying voice inside my head  
**LVIAH**=no how 'bout BUSGKjkfbkjdhfjkalKGKJBdsbvh GHHVBGhjvbdshjvbshdgv  
**Author**=[sweatdrop]O.O I can't remember that how 'bout Bus  
**LVIAH**= bus?  
**Author**= its at the beginning of your name  
**Bus**=ok then BUT GET ON WITH THE STORY

**CHAPTER 4 Just another boring chapter****Disclaimer**=I own everything except anything that is in harvest moon, the  
people in the story so basically I own me and bus**Big narrating voice**= as we last left off everybody was puking from jack  
eating fish that has been in his backpack for a year**Jack**= yummy these fish are still good from when I caught them.  
**All**=[puke] ewwww. That is nasty  
**KS**=hey I found some black grass lets eat  
**All**=yay  
**CB**=will everyone please start talking loud  
**KS**=no  
**CB**=what?  
**KS**=I said no  
**CB**=I still can't hear you  
{goes on for a long time, just going back and forth and back and forth and  
back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and  
back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth  
(I'm just going to stop now)}  
**KS**= hey why are we arguing?(her ten minute long memory kicked in)  
**CB**=what I can't hear you?  
**All**=SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING SO BE QUIET.  
[something is happening to jack]  
**Doggie**=bark(oh no its happening again Jack's going to the imagination side  
everybody run!!)  
**All**=ahhhhhhhh[start running away and the find somebody along the way]  
**Person**=hello  
[all stop]  
**CB**=hello  
**CN**=hello  
**FF**=hi  
**KS**=hi there  
**H**=hillo  
**A**=I guess I did put him in the story. So now all you people know that I did  
put him in the story  
**J**=[returns after being hit by a rock from doggie](just to tell ya'll you  
didn't want to see him in is ima. Side it was really weird like he saw a  
bunch of little demons holding a very VERY VERY big rock, the demons was  
actually doggie trying to get him out of the I side)hello, hey do you know  
the way out?  
**Person**= hi  
**CN**= whats your name?  
**Person**=Nick  
**CN**=I'm Chrae Neko  
**CB**=I'm Cherry Blossom**Fastforward** (I'm really lazy if you didn't know)**J**=I'm jack but do you know the way out?  
**N**=yaaaano I don't  
**FF**= Look theres a light up ahead  
[all go]  
**KS**= [shuts off flash light and goes]BOO  
**All**=ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhh  
**KS**=[laughing hysterically]  
**J**= why did you do that Kansas?  
**KS**=MY name is Kijo-San not Kansas  
**J**= but it says so in the initials the author writes for your name  
[KS takes J to last ch and shows him the words in the parenthesis about her  
name then she slaps him really hard he flies and hits H who hits CB who  
hits CN who hits FF who hits Doggie who hits N who hits KS and a big fight  
starts]  
**A**=[sitting there with popcorn and pop] GO WHOEVER I'm ending this story so  
please review and tell me how to make this story more funnier i'm running out of ideas and i am not i repeat I AM NOT putting anymore people in its already crowded.

**bus**=SHUTUP ALREADY I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE FIGHT

**A**= fine then, please put in your reviews who should win he fight good bye


	5. The Pain

The story opens up with Nick sitting at a desk in the cave under a  
spotlight.  
**N**=Hello my name was Nick but it was changed after I was put in the story it  
is now Karlminion and this is my advertisement  
(advertising voice)  
Hey are you tired of just reading fanfics if you are come on down to  
Karlminion's interactive fanfic thingie majjigger (is that how you spell  
that?) you say what he should do in your review with the options at the end  
of the chapter (like those books where you turn to certain pages and you  
follow the story the way you want but in this you just write what he should  
do next) to get there you click on his name in the reviews and find the  
story there.  
(scene goes back to Km (Karlminion) sitting at the desk)  
**Km**=and now for something completely different a man with a tape recorder up  
his nose  
(scene goes to the author and he's wearing gloves)  
**A**= (sticks finger up nose) (tape recorder plays) Hello and welcome back to  
my story I would like to thank the reviewers for reviewing I put the  
advertisement in because just go read the reviews to see. His story is a  
Zelda story for all you Zelda fans out there. This tape recorder thing and  
the desk thing and the something completely different thing belong to Monty  
Python's Flying Circus (don't own em). A funny funny FUNNY and random show.  
(takes finger out of nose)(voice stops)  
**A**= (takes off gloves and burns them) I left you guys a nice cliffhanger  
didn't I. You guys want to know what happened during the fight. Well there  
was uppercuts, low punches, high punches, lefts, rights, jabs, piledrivers,  
chokeslams, body slams, every move you see in wrestling, boxing, swimming,  
running, tae kwon doe, karate, shotokhan, judistu (is that how its  
spelled), and author powers (which I took away after the fight so they  
can't do anything now muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha cough  
cough hahahahahahahahahaha hack hack hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ok  
I'm done.  
The person who won the fight was........drumroll please(you hear the lousiest  
drumroll ever it sounds like a bunch of hurt people banging on rocks)good  
drumroll ................  
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
................................................................................................  
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
................................................................................................  
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
................................................................................................  
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
................................................................................................  
(opens an envelope from nowhere) the winner is Km because he is the only  
one that reviewed. I would also like to thank Chrae Neko, Mika-sama, and EG  
Legacy for putting me on their fav. list and I would like to thank Kijo-  
san, Mika-sama, and Chrae Neko for putting me on their author alert watch  
list. On with the story.  
  
**Chapter 5 The Pain  
Disclaimer:** I own me and bus and..........nothing else

**BNV**=when we last left off everyone was in a fight....  
**CN**=take this  
**CB**=how 'bout an uppercut  
**Km**=PILEDRIVER!!!  
**J**=ow HELP ow ME ow HELP!!!!!!!!!  
**KS**=here's a chokeslam  
**H**=I knew judistu peple  
**All**=how does that help if you knew it?  
**H**=(using what he knows about judistu) take that  
**FF**=I know shotokhan  
**All**=what?  
**FF**=I don't know  
(CN and Km get into their own fight and it looks like those toys where  
their heads pop up when they get hit)  
**A**=oh my Chrae Neko's head popped up, oh nope its back in place  
Fastforward  
(fights over)  
**A**=well the fight is over and Km won, hey how did you guys get those  
bandages we don't have a first aid kit down here.  
(scene goes to a bunch of people all bandaged up or has casts on them  
walking or limping or being pushed in a wheelchair[I have no idea where  
this stuff came from!])  
**readers**=why don't you help them?  
**A**= cause they haven't reviewed in a while so I am being mean to them  
**Readers**= (giving him the evil eye)  
**A**=ok ok I'll help them(makes their cuts, bruises, sprains, broken bones,  
fractured bones, and out of place spines heal)  
**Readers**=thank you (leave)  
**A**= (puts them back the way they were) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
**J**=where are we going?  
**H**=to thi fare  
**J**=really? YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!  
**H**=no  
**J**=awwwwwwwww where are we really going?  
**Km**=to the lake  
**J**=really? YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!  
**Km**=no  
**J**=awwwwwwwww but WHERE ARE WE REALLY GOING?!?!?!?!?!?!  
**All**=OUT OF THIS CAVE  
**J**=oh ok  
**All**=(annoyed face)(grrrrrrrr quickedit grrrrrrrrr)  
**J**=(happy face)  
**All**=(annoyed face)  
**J**=(happy)  
**All**=(annoyed)  
**J**=(happy)  
**All**=(annoyed)  
**J**=(happy)  
**A**=stop that you guys are scaring me (scared face)  
**All**=no your mean(annoyed face)  
(a car goes in front of everyone with a house driving it)  
**ALL**=(freaked out face)  
**J**= hey lets split up so we can find the exit faster  
**All**=ok  
**CB**=what are we doing  
**ATG (all the girls)** =JUST FOLLOW US  
**CB**=ok  
(so all the boys go one way and all the girls go another way)  
**A**=lets check on the girls first  
(scene goes to the girls walking and walking and walking and walking and  
walking)  
**A**=that was boring lets check on the guys  
(scene goes to the guys walking and walking and walking and walking and  
walking)  
**A**=their boring to  
(a loud crash is heard)  
**J**=what was that?  
**H**=a loud crash  
**J**=no the other thing  
**Km**=what other thing?  
**J**=must have been my imagination, no I can't let you take over me  
noooooooooooo!!!!!!  
**ATB**= (scoot away from him)  
**Doggie**=bark (he has gone to the.....I Side)  
**J**= (looks at everyone) (gets hungry look in his eyes) (looks at Km) come  
here you big juicy steak (looks at H) come here you finger lickin' good  
chicken (looks at doggie)  
**D**=woof (WHERE ARE ALL THE ROCKS!!!)  
**H**=we atem all when we are hungry  
**Km**=then how are we going to get him out of this?  
**H**=we don't  
**Km**=RUN FOR YOUR LIVES JACKS GONE CANNIBLISTIC AHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**ATG**=what was that?  
**KS**=I don't know lets keep going  
**ATG**=ok  
**A**=what's going on here?  
**H**=jacks gone cannibalistic  
**A**=you mean he eats plants?  
**Km**=know he only eats animals  
**H**=no it means he eats (truck goes by and honks his horn).  
**A**=you mean he eats (another truck goes by)  
**Km**= yes he eats (a clown goes by honking its nose)  
**A**=wow who knew Jack could eat (gulp) clown wigs  
(Jack is sitting there eating the wig from the clown that came by)  
**A**= (goes over there and knocks him out with his drink coaster)  
**A**=now I must leave (does his usual thing and trips and is taken by the mole  
people again)  
(scene goes to the girls)  
**CN**=I've been wondering what was that crashing noise  
**FF**=a crashing noise  
**KS**=it was the mole people  
**CB**=I thought it was the cave collapsing  
**FF**=I thought it was a crashing noise  
**ATG**=it was a crashing noise but we want to know what crashed  
**FF**=why didn't you just say so  
**ATG**=we did  
**FF**=it was a thing that crashes  
**ATG**=(annoyed face)  
**FF**=(happy face)  
**ATG**=(annoyed)  
**A**=stop that I'm getting scared (partially scared face)

**A**=hey why hasn't bus bothered me much (looks in back of head and sees bus  
sitting on a couch watching satellite T.V.)hey where did you get satellite  
T.V.?  
**Bus**=ummmm....the internet  
**A**=ok  
(scene ends with bus and the author watching T.V.)  
**BNV**=will anyone find out what the crash was, will anyone find out how bus  
really got satellite T.V., and will anyone figure out how he got the  
internet. Tune in next time on Jacks Fun Day in the Cave.  
**A**=if anyone in my story (CN, CB, KS, FF, H, Km) would like to place an ad  
of one of their stories please tell me in a review, e-mail, or IM.


	6. The Internet

The scene opens up with the author and bus still watching TV at the mole people lair home cave type thing. Then the BNV says, "The story is starting" to the author. "Oh, whoops sorry I was watching TV" "We all know that" "Oh, ok then hello and welcome back readers if you are reading this chapter it means you either actually like this story or you are bored and you just felt like reading on I would like to thank all our reviewers..."Bus says, "We had no reviewers." "Oh, yeah." He goes into the fetal position and starts rocking back and forth saying, "I'm so alone." "Well he's not doing anything soon so I'll finish the intro, we are now writing like this because the way we had it was not allowed here at and Km interactive story has been removed if you want to know why go to his profile. We still take ads from people in our story to put in our story. Please enjoy our story. Thank you and come again.  
  
**Chapter 6: the internet**  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the internet, satellite TV, harvest moon, or the people in the story. If I did I wouldn't be here writing this.  
  
The BNV says, "When we last left off everyone split up into groups." In the girls group FF starts talking, "What was that crashing noise?" KS says, "What crashing noise?" "The crashing noise from last chapter." All of them say, "WE DON'T KNOW!!!" CN says, "Why is she starting to act like Jack." They all think. CB says, "I got it! Jacks stupidity is contagious." All of them say, "IT IS!?!?! AHHHHHH." They start running around in n-gons (n is any number you want) Bus says, "Lets check on the guys." They are running around in dodecahedrons and through the air because Jacks stupidity went to them faster.H says, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE this is fun running in decahedrons." Km says, "We are running in Dodecahedrons." "Really? That's even more fun. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. This is fun. This is fun." Bus says, "Oh no their losing to the I Side EVERYBODY RUN!!!" A random person named everybody starts running in 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000-gons  
(That's a lot of sides) "Ok, now EVERYONE ELSE RUN!!!!" Another random person named Everyone Else starts running with everybody. "grrrrrr, I mean Km, KS, CB, CN, H, and FF RUN!!!!!" All of them say, "Ok" and they start running around in whatever shape they were running around in. Bus sighs. "Sigh" You don't say sigh you just sigh wait oh no Bus is catching jacks stupidity. "I am?" He brings out a baseball mitt. "Wait I can fight the stupidity all I need is the internet (dun-dun-dunnnnnnnn)" some person says, "Gasp, The internet?" "Yes the internet, with its net surfing abilities I will find a cure for the stupidity virus." He gets on there and starts playing games. If you were wondering what happened to me I am still rocking back and forth. Typing this somehow. So then Bus starts reading stories at "Hahaha OMG that was a good one." BNV slaps Bus and says, "YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE FINDING A CURE FOR THE STUPIDITY VIRUS!!" "I am? Oh yeah. Whoops. I'll do it right now." He goes to google and writes great PC games to play. BNV comes in, slaps him again, and types cure for stupidity virus.So bus starts reading and he finds out the cure is for you to (gulp) feed them cherry flavored pepto bismal. Oh the horror. Oh it's so inhumane. It's so torturous. And dangerous and disgusting. (I've never had it so I don't really know if it is disgusting) So he orders 50 crates of pepto bismal. A delivery truck goes by and drops all fifty crates and drives off. So bus took control of my body because I wouldn't move and tied everyone down stuck tubes in their throat and kept pouring and pouring all of the pepto bismal down everyone's throat. Everyone says, "There is not pepto bismal going down my throat." BNV goes over to him and stuffs him in a jar and buries him to right next to the guy from the first chapter. So after all the pepto bismal was gone everyone was sane again except for me because I have got no reviews still yet so I go back to the fetal position and start rocking again. So everybody fell asleep from all the pepto bismal and bus starts watching TV again.  
  
Author= This is where the chapter will end because I feel like ending it. If you like the way I wrote this please tell me if you hate it please tell me but please no big flames. And please give me ideas for my next story which will be a Zelda story (I'm only writing one story at a time). Please review and come back for the next chapter (if doesn't shut me down). (Talks like Abu or Apu I forgot his name from the Simpsons) Thank you come again. 


	7. The REAL Way Out

The author appears on screen and says, "Thank you all for reviewing!! Even though some of the reviews were….yeah, sorry that I haven't written in a while, school, laziness, procrastination, no motivation. I just couldn't think (stupid writers block…..). Ok I have a request to advertise cherry blossoms (the name changed to the wandering soul) fic called 'crazy news cast', it's a humor Zelda fic(GO READ IT AFTER THIS!). And now for something…….nonrandom, this is going to be the last chapter. I'm sorry, but 7 chapters is about all my head can think up. Anyways don't let that put you down, it's Christmas!!" the little voice in my head says, "no its not!" "Well its close enough, but this chapter is going to be a Christmas special. And sorry for anyone who thought that having pepto bismal poured down their throat is evil, I had to get rid of the stupidity virus somehow, and since yall are in my fic, I can do whatever I want!! Muahahahahahahah!!"  
"Ok ON WITH THE STORY!"

**CHAPTER 7: The REAL Way Out**

**disclaimer **(why is this here?):  
I own a whole lot of nothing, plus some more nothing, and don't forget! I own nothing!

Last on this story, bus was watching TV and the author was in a fetal position rocking back and forth. But he got reviews now so he's up watching TV with the mole people. And everyone else is also asleep. But they wake up, and they see jack being stupid again. So FF says, "WHY ARE YOU BEING STUPID JACK?!?!", or yells. "I'm not being stupid, I'm being no smart." Then CB says (man I hate this style of writing), "whoa, those big words for you jack" "no they ain't" so H says, "they are" "they aren't." so KS joins this argument, "yes they are" "NO THEY NOT!!" CN joins, "YES THEY IS!" and we have to let Km join this too, "YES…….THEY……..ARE!!!!!!!" Km hits jack on the head. Bus jumps in, well he rather just yells in, "GET BACK TO FINDING THE WAY OUT!!" "WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE YOUR INTERNET AND FIND US A WAY OUT!!" "NO, CAUSE THAT WILL END THIS CHAPTER TOO SOON!" "CHEESE!" Everyone looks at jack, who just yelled out cheese, "what?"

Ok, time to interrupt the story  
the crowd cheer  
i glare at crowd  
the crowd gets scared  
Ok, the stupid writers block has taken over me againpoints to a writers block inside his brain ok, this chapter will now be cut shorter, and end quicker than I planned it to be. Now back to the story

FF says, "hey, I've been wondering bus, how do you get internet service?" bus reply's, "well, I hacked into jack's account, so he now pays for it. I hooked antennae on the authors head" "that's why my head feels so heavy…." "yeeah, well, that's how I get internet service, satellite TV, XM radio, and other things."

FBI people blow up a hole I the roof of the cave and then repel down the rope they threw, and lock up jack. "you haven't paid your satellite TV, internet, XM radio, and other things bill in 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 minutes!!" "what!?!? I don't have any of that!!" "well, your getting billed for it, so come with me"

So the FBI agent lights up the cavern, and everyone sees they are in a small room, that's 10' by 10'. So H yells out, "WE'VE BEEN WANDERING IN A ROOM THAT'S 10' BY 10' FOR YEARS?!?!?!?" "yep." everyone falls over anime style.

So they all leave the cave, jack pays the bills. And since it was Christmas when they came out, they all went to jacks house for a party.

(another interruption)  
I lied about this being short  
I'm adding the Christmas party, cause its almost Christmas!!

"WHOO-HOO! PARTY!! YIPPEE!!! FREEDOM!!!!" that's what everyone was shouting when they got out of the cave. So they go to jacks house, and watch him pick his yield of yellow sweet potatoes, green tomatoes, brown corn, blue cabbage, and some other multicolored mystery plant. "ummmm, I ain't eating that" is what CB said. "yeah, neither am I", is what CN said. "nor I", is what the rest said(too many people to go through).

So they put up a tree, after having it fall on Km 20 times, and having the dog pee on it, and after having jack pee on it, and the cows pee on it, and after we burned that one and put a new clean one up. So they sing, badly, Christmas carols. They sing them off key. They drink too much eggnog. KS gets ran over by a reindeer. Santa comes by and gives everyone something, and gives jack a lump of coal big enough to be seen from space.

"hey Houston, there's this big black dot right on jack's farm." "well, destroy it" "roger, over and out" so they destroy jack's lump of coal, and everyone is happy, "yaay"

and so, cause the writers block has fully taken over me, I end this story by sending everyone back to where they belong, and by blowing up jacks farm, so he can't endanger more people by growing rotten fruit.

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here ends the story, of jack and his fun day in the cave, if you out right hated this story, please say so, if you are in this and you hate what I did to you, well tough luck. I am the creator of this fic and you must obey my rules!!! Go read the wandering soul's story, "Crazy News Cast" NOW!! And leave a review for ths story.

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